Am I dumb?

Before you go ahead and say "YES YOU ARE!!!!" to my title (haha)... it's a 'certain situation' kinda question.. Because I know I have my moments.

Say, you were hanging out with a guy (AS A FRIEND) and he starts liking you alot, always texting, wanting to come over.. pretty much would do anything for you, aka: He wants to be up and on, around, near.. your nuts.
And your just like eh, he's cool as a friend but no, I dont like him like that. Before you even get around to breaking his heart the terd finds a new broad.

And here I am, annoyed?
In a way, I feel like I shoulda been finding myself a situation before he found himself one.

It kinda cracks me up that I'm so annoyed by the issue (thats barely an issue).. but at the same time i'm like SERIOUSLY THOUGH? WHAT THE HELL!?


Haha, I don't know.. thought i'd share my epic fail for the day =) That I got shot down by a guy I didnt even like before I could shoot him down, ONLY ME.. lol.


Bye bye!

If you really knew me. . .

There's a new show on MTV on Tuesday nights at 11pm that started a week or two ago i'm guessing? I haven't watched it till tonight because I didn't have anything else to do at 11pm.
It's kind of interesting.. The things these people are saying are so completely normal, things most of us had felt before, but never confess.. rarely to ourselves how certain things effect people and us.

I'm not sure if anyone ever reads this thing, probably not because I don't post it, so if anyones reading it, it's probably some random person who comes across it on the site... but I wanna try this with myself.

-If you really knew me you'd know I strive to be the best for my parents and somehow come out as the weak link. I don't try and compare myself to my sister because we've both has our wrongs and rights, but sometimes I feel like they don't realize how tame of a person I really am. Seeing where I am now, to what I was I feel i've come along way, and I don't ever get credit for it. But instead I feel like I get more and more greif about things that have happened in the past.. & they won't let it go.
-If you really knew me you'd know I don't trust a single person. I can see right through people, I can feel the lies coming out of peoples mouths, I can sense the truth that's not being told. I continuously have to play dumb in many situations because of other peoples lies, and it not only breaks me down but gave me this front I have on people today. As I have moved onto college in my own life it has gotten worse, & i continuously push people away.
-If you really knew me you'd know I don't call my best friend I've known since the 1st grade my 'best friend' anymore. It's probably a combination of the above statement and not living by eachother anymore but I don't think that's a fair enough excuse. If you really knew me you'd know I continuously try and talk to her, and be there for her, & when I ask her to be there for me she can't even give me a phonecall back. I'm sure we'll always be friends but I feel like we'll never be what we were, and while that makes me sick to my stomach saying it because we were so close... somethings you need to accept.
-If you really knew me you'd know my biggest fear is not having my Dad walk me down the aisle in my wedding because he won't be alive. I may have made this my fear because my Mom makes comments, but it has definately affected me.. You might hear me making jokes about it when she says those things but it breaks my heart. I always told myself if he wasn't there i'd have my Grandpa Chuck walk me down the aisle.. & he passed away 2 years ago, which is another reason why this fear has gotten bigger.
-If you really knew me you'd know the death of a friend has changed my life both negatively and positively. I thank God I learned something out of it, and can use it in my life, but i'm still stuck on those negative things... The What ifs. I know he's always here in spirit and i'll never forget him, but i'm not sure if I can ever forget why i'm asking myself what if?

Okay I can't do this anymore.

I guess my final thoughts on this is think about what you're saying before you say it, keep your relationships close, don't forget to let people know you care, be there for others as much as you can, don't hold grudges, and always remember... How would you like to see your life flash before your eyes with your last breath? If what you're living right now isn't that, change it.

Xo.

Family

"Gotta hold on easy as I let you go.
Gonna tell you how much I love you, though you think you already know.
I remember I thought you looked like an angel wrapped in pink so soft and warm.
You've had me wrapped around your finger since the day you were born.
You're beautiful baby, from the outside in.
Chase your dreams but always know the road that'll lead you home again.
Go on, take on this whole world.
But to me you know you'll always be, my little girl."
-Tim McGraw


I think every girls relationship with her Dad is just as important as her relationship with their Mom. Everyone just assumes the girls cling to their Moms and the boys cling to their Dads. I don't think that's true at all. And I think every girl should look foward to the day their Dad gets to walk them down the aisle, and have their Daddy/Daughter dance later on that night.. Besides your birth that's probably the next biggest day not only you have in your life, but your Dad too.

I don't really know what drove me to write about Dads, I guess I just miss mine. Though i just saw him yesterday & the whole weekend! I'm a born & raised Daddy's Girl though.


Can't forget about Mom though.. I'm not a very emotional person which is why I think my Mom controls my heart, if I see her upset or crying.. it takes about half a second for me to be upset and crying too.
I think I have a special kind of Mom though.. everyone says this but I have genuine reasons why I feel this way. She wasn't blessed with the best life in the world growing up, and most people you meet who have been through a lot don't mind complaining, telling you all about it, and never letting it go. Looking at my Mom i'd think she had the best life ever growing up, because she doesn't do those things. She made herself successful, she keeps herself positive, and doesn't let her past drag down her future. She's really an amazing role model, she may not think so but she definately is.


I feel like lately I can't get enough of my family.. Doesn't take long of being up here to feel that way though.

If I had to give any advice for the day i'd say make sure ya tell your family you love them as much as you can, never blow them off because they'll be the ones there in the end.. not your friend you blew them off for, and keep the relationships good.. Don't fight over stupid things and just enjoy your time with them... You never know what could happen in a couple years, or even a month, possibly even minutes.

Family is love <3

"There's only two people in this world you don't lie to...

...That's your God, and your Lawyer." - Rob Dedrich.

Couldn't have said it better.



Xo.

Out of reach..

Ever have something so close, about to reach for it then all of a sudden it's gone? I'm sure we've all experienced this.. & while I was sitting here kind of pissed off, annoyed, a tid of sadness I asked myself why?
Why me? ..Because ya gotta learn sometime girl!
Why did I even bother? ..What's the point of life if you don't take chances?
Why do I even care? ..It's called FEELINGS LYNDSAY.
Why am I wasting my time pissed off? ..Good point.

That went through my head and I can honestly say I'm over it. It took me like 1 hour to get over it, but i figured that's better than days, right?

Thats beside the point though... everyday people are experiencing things asking themselves why me? Why does my life suck? Why doesn't anything good ever come to me? Why can't my life be like theres?
Ever just thought about asking yourself these questions and answering them in a more posotive way? Instead of asking yourself 'why me?' then responding with, 'Cuz Gods out to get me'... think of a reason this could benefit you and feed off of it. not only do situations we go through teach us things, but they also make us stronger people. Not everyone learns and comes out strong though.. the ones thinking God is out to get only them, and their life sucks more than anyones are the ones who never learn, who are that way because they never learned to become stronger from a situation.. Don't be that person.

It's not easy at all finding positive reasons why in any situation, whether it be why did the pop at the lunch table have to pour on me? or why did my Dad have to die now?... It's hard to think of positive reasons, but that's why these why's are there.


This whole post makes sense to me.. kinda. So hopefully it makes somewhat sense to others :)

Pet Peeves

Pet Peeves List (in no specific order):

1) When people say, "I hate drama!" then are usually the ones creating it.
---There is a huge difference between hating it and listening to others stories about their's, and "hating it" then going out and talking behind all of your friends backs. Think about it.

2) When people strive for attention.
---Shouldn't you get attention naturally? Why do people feel the need to scream for it in a lot of situations? It's really unattractive. Also, on top of that it's the worst when people can't have a good time when they aren't the center of attention.. Get over yourself.

3) When people tell stories to one up you.
---This one is just self explanitory... People are always digging to find ways to sound better, or more successful, or have gone through worse, or have done something better than that.. than you. I guess this goes hand in hand with #2 ;-)

4) When people yell when they talk.
---I'm talking everyday convo with your friend whether it be when you're sitting directly next to eachother or on the phone. There is no need to yell or scream in a normal conversation. The person you're talking to can probably hear you, no one else cares what you have to say since it's your two's conversation in the first place.

5) The thing worse than cheaters... (Yes it's possible.)
---The only thing worse than cheaters is the boy or girl who knows the person being cheated on, is the person the cheater is cheating with. Does that make sense? I think so. It's one thing if the boy or girl doesn't know he/she has a boyfriend/girlfriend, it's another thing when they do know and still continue with it, and it's an even bigger thing when they're friends with the person being cheated on. Come on people! Get some class, and not only that, why would you want to get a negative repuation? Get a positive one.

6) The girls at the party who stand in the corner staring and whispering all night with their wine coolers.
---EVERYONE knows what i'm talking about. Every party you go to there is always that little clique of overly dressed, too much hairspray, who probably spent 5 hours getting ready for this party standing in the corner talking about each and every girl who walks into the party whose not in their clique. Because apparently sipping wine coolers and gossiping is a hell of a lot more fun than meeting new people and playing a game of beerpong... Apparently.

7) Music chooser flipper outters.
---Everytime you go to a party there is the one designated music chooser for the night. I can understand at big parties why this is a big deal, but if you're having a big party you shouldn't leave your Ipod out anyways. I'm talking small partys, like the little get togethers where it's like 5-10 of you just chillin, drinking and playing drinking games and stuff. There will be one person who has enough balls to think of a song in their head they want to listen to, who isn't the designated music chooser and take it upon themselves to go find that song in the IPod playing. This is where the music chooser flipper outter comes in. All hell breaks loose. The party is pretty much over because the one drunkass had enough balls to do what everyone else was thinking. After this happens.. The music chooser flipper outter will probably hate that person for a week or so because that was just OUT OF LINE! haha.. I see this happen all the time, and it not only gets old, but really? Get mad over something that matters.

8) Dependant people.
---This is mostly girls because usually guys can pee by themselves, if they didn't everyone would wonder... Anyways, it's in the tops for me on the pet peeve scale when i'm enjoying myself, having a good time and one of your friends goes, "Will you come pee with me????!!!!! PLEASEEEEEEE?" I can understand if you're at a big party because you don't want to get lost from your friends, that's understandable. But when it's not a banger with like 3-5 kegs then you should beable to sit on the toilet, pee, wipe, wash your hands and remove yourself from the bathroom... ALONE. God forbid someone doesn't stand next to you, or wipe your vagina for you.

9) People who just assume.
---The jackass who 'just assumes!' you know he's going to turn right with no blinker, after you have pretty much rear-ended him and the 9 cars behind you rear ended you. Yeah dude, of course I knew you were going to turn right... since you had your blinker on and all.. NOT.

10) The ones who stress over the little stuff and take things too seriously.
---The people who find ways to make a big deal out of everything... and even anything. "Like half a cup of my milk I bought a week ago that i never used is gone... WHO THE HELL TOOK IT!? WHY IS MY LIFE SO SHITTY!? I HATE MY LIFE!" Yes, there are those out there.



Everyone needs to take a breather, calm themselves, relax themselves and be more laid back!

Who Says?

Who says you can't do something? Who says you're not strong enough to accomplish that? Who says you'll never make it through that? Who says you'll never reach that goal? Who says your dreams will never be fulfilled? WHO SAYS YOU CAN'T BECOME WHO YOU ASPIRE TO BE?
You Do. And no one else.

Power, strength, courage, aspiration, and attitude all come within.
Don't make excuses.
Don't let people get you down.
Don't blaim those people who think you can't, because you're proving them right.
Prove everyone wrong, prove yourself wrong.

Your life is what YOU make it to be. It isn't what your Mom and dad make it to be, it isn't what your friends make it to be, it isn't what you professor or boss make it to be, it isn't what your boyfriend or girlfriend make it to be... It's what YOU make it to be.

If you've already gone down the wrong path and messed up, maybe you can't rewind... maybe you can't completely turn around and do it over, but what you can do is give yourself a fresh start. By that I mean, don't let past events hold you back from what you always wanted to do or be someday. Figure out your options, and become that person you always wanted to be.
It might be hard, but in the end it will be worth it. Not only will you feel good about yourself, but you can look back and remember how you felt when you thought you'd never be at that point... How amazing is a feeling like that?

Don't give yourself excuses, because you will fail.
Don't let people get in the way, because you will fail.
Don't let anything change your mind, because you will fail.
Don't give up, because.. You will fail.

It's will power, something everyone needs in their life.
Don't go by the quote, "Become something you're not!" Because what you want to become is who you want to be. Become something you are, and want to be, become a better you and succeed in your goals and dreams, not letting anyone get in your way...

No more excuses, no more walls, no more people saying you can't, no one standing in your way...
"The key to success isn't pleasing everybody else, it's pleasing yourself." -B.Cosby

Hardball of Life

Everyone's going to be hit with a hardball in their life. For some it happens when they're young, for others they don't experience it till they're a lot older and mature. Of course though, for many people it happens multiple times in ones life.
Who knows what each persons hardball is, the point of it is that we all experience moments of emptiness.
Many of us can learn something out of our negative experiences that were thrown at us, and jump back into life the way we were before. Some people though can't do that, they don't see a positive in a negative, they don't see a light at the end of the tunnel, and don't believe it'll ever get better.
If you've ever been that person, or are that person, or will unknowingly be that person in the future I hope you get help for not only yourself, but to save the heartache for your family and friends too. Deep down I believe if they saw the effect of their choice on their family and friends they would take it back, and realize how important they really are. So why can't we now as friends and family to many many people in this world show we care, and make the people we love feel important everyday? Why does it take a huge event like suicide to bring our true feelings and emotions for a person? Because we don't know how much we love something until it's gone? Why not love people before their time on earth is gone? Whether it be ones own choice or God's choice... Think before you leave home angry at your Dad or Mom, think before you hang up on your friend pissed off, think before you get mad at your boyfriend or girlfriend for a stupid reason, and think.. before you make someone feel bad about themselves.

Before this year I have never been affected by death in a dramatic way. Now though, it seems as if it's a domino effect of people we know and love quickly leaving us.
I wish we had all the answers to the questions, but we don't...


My advice for the day, be ready for unexpected things to be thrown at you. God doesn't put things in our lives to torment us, He put them there because He knows we're strong enough to overcome them IF WE CHOOSE TO. If we get to that step, we're coming out of a negative situation with a positive outlook, and as a stronger person.
Don't let the little things ruin your limited days here.


<3lc